Dear Briony,
So far, I am not that impressed by you in this story. You do seem very intelligent, and based on the snippets from your play, you're definitely a gifted writer. I think it's impressive how you've tried so hard to follow your dreams by writing so many stories and plays. It's nice that you have the support of your family to back you up as well.
However, I really think you're being kind of immature about this whole casting situation with Lola. Even though she sort of took over your territory by taking the lead role in your summer play, you could be handling the issue with much more grace than you currently are. Especially given Lola's current situation--her mother has abandoned her and she has just been sent to live in a totally new home with family she doesn't know that well. That's got to be a pretty scary change for a teenage girl to be forced into, especially with the added anxiety about the war raging in her hometown. I advise you to take some pity on the girl and befriend her. Even though she seems uppity and annoying right now, deep down she's probably feeling very scared and alone.
Also, even though Lily's twin brothers seem pretty bothersome since they're ruining your play with their terrible acting, you should have more patience with them. Again, they're stuck in a very difficult situation right now. And frankly, I think you should consider it a victory that you even convinced them to be in your play in the first place. Giving them acting tips is probably not the best idea right now.
Anyway, I hope you start to grow up a little bit more as the story continues because right now you strike me as almost whiny at some parts. Sorry for the negativity, but I'm just trying to be honest here.
Sincerely,
Anna
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